This is what happens when I get a random inspiration that won’t let go until I do it.
What can I say? I gotta do what I gotta do.
Watch the video, and/or read the transcript below to be horrified at what I’ve done to Shakespeare.
What’s she that wishes so?
My Library Director? No, my fair librarian:
If we are mark’d to die, we are now
To do our library loss; and if to live,
The fewer meltdowns, the greater share of honour.
Beverly Cleary’s will! I pray thee, wish not one dirty diaper more.
By Anne Carrol Moore, I am not covetous for attendance,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my child-safe paste;
It yearns me not if kids my garments stain;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet early literacy skills,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my director, wish not an unsupervised child:
Hush! I would not lose so great an honour
As one child more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Director, through my youth service librarians,
That he or she which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him or her depart; his or her snack pack shall be made
And money for fines put into his or her purse:
We would not read in that librarian’s company
That fears his or her fellowship to read with us.
This day is call’d a Teacher In-service Day:
Any that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is named,
And rouse him or her at the name of his or her favorite stuffed bear.
He or she that shall read this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his or her neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is a teacher in-service day.’
Then will he or she strip his or her sleeve and show the paper cuts,
And say ‘These wounds I had on a teacher in-service day.
Librarians forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But a Youth Service Librarian remembers, with advantages
What feats she or he did that day.
Then shall our names, Familiar in his or her mouth as household words
Pete the Cat, Clifford and Emily Elizabeth,
Curious George & Thomas, Elephant & Piggie,
Be in their flowing sippy cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good person teach his or her child;
And in-service days shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we happy few, we band of storytellers;
For he or she to-day that spills his or her glitter with me
Shall be my brother or sister; be he or she ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his or her condition:
And gentle people in our communities now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their literacy skills cheap whiles any speaks
That read with us upon a teacher in-service day.